NAMI.org

I have mentioned before that I direct the choir at my church. I'm not paid to do it, and I am not very talented or experience at it. I do it because it because they need someone to do it, out of love for music, and, of course, out of love for God.



We performed for Easter, and it went very well. If I had a little faith, I would have expected it to go well.



However, I am an 'arm of flesh' type of person, and that leads to stress.



I didn't sleep for the better part of 2 nights, and when I did, I had nightmares about the performance. I had fears that the choir members wouldn't show up, that I would make mistakes, that the program would run long, that people would be restless, inattentive or offended, that I would be embarrassed, or possible just drop dead. (There is a blog about the event itself, further down, if you are interested.)



I self medicated. I joke about it, but, when I am stressed, depressed, or angry, a Monster Energy drink brings me around. It is probably the huge blast of caffeine, but I become more optimistic, focused, and happier after the drink.



Both of my stories this week are about people who self medicate. Both people the type that we judge when we see them on the street, doing what they need to 'get right'.



I have two children that joined our family by adoption who need medication to allow them to be who they are. I know that there are a lot of people that oppose ADHD medications, but my personal experience in the last 6 months has been a positive one. My children have not become passive, sleepy, shells of their former selves. They remain intelligent, inquisitive and actively themselves.



Their birth mothers were both drug users during pregnancy. One was a self medicating schizophrenic.



My hope for NAMI, is my hope for my children, that if, or when, they are no longer under my watchful care, that there will be a saftey net in place for them. Naturally, the safety net of first resort is the family, which I have plenty to fall back on. Secondly, is the Church. But, sometimes people actively lose themselves from the nets that have been placed.



I hope that you have felt the emotion from my stories this week. They should be in the next blog down.