Nanowrimo

I've decided to try it. Here it is the 12th of November, so I started 10 days late; I wrote my first words last night. I'm Norvaljoe at nanowrimo.org. I kept thinking that I should give it a try, but with everything else that I am trying to get done this month, how could I find the time! Well, less time on City of Heroes, and Eve online, I guess. I have to do over 2000 words a day. I did 2000 last night and have gotten about 700 done this morning and at lunch, so we'll see what I can get done after the kids are in bed.

My story is "The Kings'Shoemaker. It is a fantasy story that I have thought about for the last few years, and since I have already started putting my "Scouting" story down, I didn't think it would be right to use that one.

What motivated me was looking at Nathan Lowells Nano site and saw that he is only 1000 words into his story. What is the worst that could happen? I could end now with only 2700 words. But that is more than I had yesterday morning, and if (when) I add more, that will be closer to the goal of finnishing a story.

We'll see what happens.

Goodbye anonymity

I got my 100 word story done early this week, and actually sent it in today. I am becoming the "Totally together guy". I actually excercised today. That's twice within four days. I think I might go floss my teeth.

I included this blog address with my entry today, so there is the small potential that someone other than myself will actually see this page. Of course that is likely to only happen once....but anyway, people who previously only knew me as the guy who wanted to be called Norval Joe will see that I am a 48 year old dork who likes to write blog notes to himself, and calls himself Norval Joe.

Sunday and autism

I guess it's kind of comforting knowing that noone actually reads my blog. In truth, one person did read it and invited me to join in an international multilevel marketing adventure, sigh. So really, I can say what I want in total anonymity, even misspell anonmymity, and not feel like I am risking myself to unwanted public exposure.

Today in sacrament meeting I was filling in for the regular choruster. I had asked my adult daughter to keep an eye on my son Desmond, who has autism. Des and I have a regular church meeting routine. We get to church about 10 minute early so that we can climb up and down the stairs a few times. This is one of his all time favorite activities. Then we are able to sit and quietly read some of his books to get us through the regular announcements and business, the passing of the sacrament and sometimes even the first talk. Then it's back to the stairs for 20 minutes or so before we come back into sacrament meeting for the end of hte final talk, closing hymn and closing prayer.

I had lead the opening hymn, sacrament hymn and was leading the closing hymn, thinking that everything was running smoothly. My family hadn't come into the meeting, and since Jan, my wife, had recently had a back surgery, I assumed that they we all sitting in hte comfortable chairs in the foyer.

We were in the final few measures of the closing hymn when Desi came running into the chapel. I thought, well, that's ok, I can beat the last few beats with him here, but instead of running to me, he ran to help the organist finnish the piece.

Everyone tells me that it is ok, that it was cute, that it was....etc, but I still haven't gotten over it. I feel embarassed and frustrated everytime I think of it. I guess mostly I feel like my family let me down, that they couldn't keep track of him for one meeting.

But, like everything else, I am sure that this will pass.

My new hobby

I listen to a lot of podcasts. One genre of podcast I listen to is the creative writing type. Some of them are; Mur Lafferty's 'I should be writing', and I'll appologize now for mispelling names; Tee Morris's, 'Survival guide to writing fantasy'; 100 word stories; and the Podcastle, and escape pod, podcasts.

I have mentioned, previously, my aspirations to both podcast and write my novel.

The advice I hear on many podcasts and interviews with authors is to write consistently. That is part of why I am trying to be more consistent in writing on my blog; it forces me to put down coherent thoughts about a subject.

So, my new hobby is writing, and my excersize is writing 100 word stories. When I have a few minutes before I need to be somewhere or doing something, I grab a word or a thought and see if I can get that idea into a story in 100 words. I figure that someday one of these little bits will turn into 'My Novel'.

I have also mentioned that I have 'A story' that I am now trying to put onto paper, but one of the ideas that I get from these creative writing casts is that you can't have 'just one' story. We'll see.

The Grocery store stories

After writing my first two entries, which were two parts of the same story, I planned to write an end and an epilogue. But when the 'asylum' challenge offered me the chance to put my Ulnar Styloid story down, I decided to go with that story. I might add that it appears that the underlying idea that all the names and places were parts of the human anatomy was either lost to the reader, or so obvious that it elicited no great response.

So, in trying to finnish off the grocery store stories I am putting them here, since to put them into future competitions the signigicance of the quadrilogy would be lost without the continuity.

If you haven't read them, they are the first two stories of the previous post.

Now,

The grocery store - The end.

At the back of the store, the man remained, surrounded by the symphonic hum of refrigerators and freezers. The dim Light through the one, far off window faded.
He had to get back to the door, but he felt old now, old and tired.
Had he waited too long to return?
With extreme will, as if forcing his atoms to separate and pass, one by one, through a solid wall, he pushed himself down the aisle.
He reached the door and pressed his hands to the window.
The window opened its mouth and said, "Doctor, the patient is awake."

The grocery store - The end.

At the back of the store, the man remained, surrounded by the symphonic hum of refrigerators and freezers. The dim Light through the one, far off window faded.
He had to get back to the door, but he felt old now, old and tired.
Had he waited too long to return?
With extreme will, as if forcing his atoms to separate and pass, one by one, through a solid wall, he pushed himself down the aisle.
He reached the door and pressed his hands to the window.
The window opened its mouth and said, "Doctor, the patient is awake."

100 word stories

There is a podcast where the podcaster writes and posts a 100 word story everyday. Once a week there is a contest for people to write their own 100 word stories and send them in. There is a theme, usually one word or phrase. Here are my stories from the first to the most recent.

#129 - Light

Flourescence

Grimy black and grey tiles invited him down grocery store aisles of increasing gloom and darkened potential. Shadowed boxes and cans in layered dust offered hidden rewards.
Overhead the yellowed and brown stained plastic filtered the weak florescence, illuminating nothing.
He turned to look back and saw, far off, down a tunnel, or in a dream, a memory: the door.
When had he come in through the door?
Beyond the door was the city with its cars, and people, and places; and life.
Here was dark, an aisle, dust, and the door.
In the door was a window and light.


#130 - Then you put it in the blender

The Grocery Store, Part II

When he entered the dimly lit store the clerk was a statue; his ancient skin, pale grey as cement; chin on chest in apparent slumber.

The clerk hadn't moved when the young man passed him and ambled down the aisle to the frozen food.

A voice started him from his stasis, " ...then you put it in the blender...", and it trailed off down the aisle to his right.

He turned to the direction of the receding voice and in his minds' eye, followed it to the door, where it left him behind.

"Take me!" he screamed, but without sound.


#131 Asylum

Inner Space

Ulnar Styloid, clan chief of the Olecranon Process, glanced up from his desk. A harried guard informed him, "The distal Interphalangeal Epyphases have entered our system. Their vessels are forming up in the Glenoid Fossa."
"Attack on the the Dorsal Interosii will be next." Ulnar concluded, "Naturally, they will come to us for asylum." He pondered the back of his hand, then cracked his knuckles. He spoke to the guard, "Tell the Interosii they may land their vessels on Tibial Plateau and inhabit the length of the Vastus Lateralis."
Ulnar Styloid smiled grimly; his nemesis, Vas Deferens, would arrive soon.


#132 Ninja vrs. clown

Black. The assassin struck in the darkest hour of the night.

Red. The mark lay in a pool of his own blood.

Black. His clothes, to match the night, shrouded the assassin's entire body in black, except for his eyes.

Red. His hair, soaked in the blood where it pooled around his head, blood red.

Black. Yellow lights reflected in the assassins black eyes.

Red. Shiny, patent leather boots, not black, but red, below red and white striped stockings, on the lifeless feet.

Black. The black blade, invisible in the night, took down the mark. Ronald didn't stand a chance.


#133 Omission

Free Vacation

What had he misunderstood from the enticing advertisement?

He read the beautifully illustrated pamphlet again.

"All expenses paid
Two weeks in Hawaii
Ocean front condo on Maui
First class seating from any mainland airport
All at no cost. All we require is you.*"

The asterisk on the word 'you'. There was always an asterisk and you could never find it at the bottom of the page. He searched the advertisement again, realizing with horror that the bottom third of the advertisement had been torn away.

The omission of "*your soul" was what left him standing at the gates of hell.

Reactivating my blog.

It has been a long time since I actually posted something. Since that post, I have actually started getting creative again.

So moving forward my intention is to write about the following activities:

Ward Choir, of course. I have all the recording equipment, microphones, usb mixer, etc, to record the choir when we have our Christmas songs ready. Then I will upload them to youtube with some navitity scene slide shows.

My own podio book. I have gotten re-motivated to write that book that I have had in my head for hte last 18 years.

My podcast. In preparing to put my story on podiobooks.com, I am practicing recording my self reading to improve my diction, delivery and comfort infront of the microphone. I have started recording the book, 'Mayor of Casterbridge' by Thomas Hardy. I have had to look up so much about the author, the country of England and the various archaic words that I thought, well, why not share this info with others who subject themselves to Thomas Hardy. I plan to produce my own podcast, reading the book and sharing background on the story and the artist. Even if no one listens to the padcast, I will have improved my skills for when I release my book. So look for the TomasHardyforAmericans podcast coming in the new year.

Finally, in hte area of improving skills I have started participating in the 100 word story podcasts weekly challenge. I will post those entries and other writing and thoughts associated with that.

Of course, I am writing this for myself, since no one has ever come across my site. So, Go me!!

Philip

Sacrament Meeting talk 080727

Here is the talk I gave in church last week....I thought it would be easier to just post it, than rewrite it, making reference, and explaining it.

Hi, for those of you who don’t know me…..
For those that do, and think I have gone inactive,,,,,in the primary.

Last April conference, Elder D. Todd Christofferson, newly called as an apostle, spoke on Being Born again. He said, “Being born again, unlike our physical birth, is more a process than an event. And engaging in that process is the central purpose of mortality.’

In the Book of Mormon, the prophet Lehi had a vision of this process that we know as the vision of the tree of life. In that vision Lehi sees people who have accepted Jesus Christ and taken hold of an Iron rod. This rod takes the people along a path that leads to the Tree of Life and the Love of God. Running along the path is a river of filthiness and across that river is a building with our foundation, where people laugh and mock those on the path and at the tree of life.

I believe that there are many here that have been born again, and become a new being in the site of God. They are holding to the iron rod, with their eyes set on the tree of life, progressing toward our Heavenly Fathers kingdom. Many that can testify that they know the gospel is true beyond a shadow of a doubt.

Today I do not plan to speak to you, directly. I would like to address those of us that stand “in the shadow of doubt”. Not those that are holding fast to the iron rod, but which have, what I like to call, gone down to skip stones on the river of filthiness.

I can’t imagine that there are any, who, having understood and accepted the restored gospel of Jesus Christ, that would let go of the rod with the intention of going down to swim in the river of filthiness. But having become discouraged by those mocking from the building with out foundation, or being tempted away by things of the world, we have wandered down to the river to see how big of a splash we can make with stones found along the bank.

The stones are not igneous or sedimental, granite or lime stone. These stones are doubt, apathy, and transgression. They are, “why am I here when I am not worthy”, “Why does everyone else have so much faith, and I have none”, “why does God allow me to be tempted so badly”, “How can I be expected to keep all the commandments.”

Having been down to the river our shoes are caked with the slippery mud and it is difficult to make the climb back up. Our hands are stained with the polluted clay and we are embarrassed to take hold or the iron rod, and walk with our bothers and sisters who are clean.

Let me share an experience I had while attending a camp director’s course in southern California.
Camp was far out in the hills of San Diego county.
Never been to this camp.
Campsite was quarter mile from dinning hall.
Arrived at dinning hall during daylight, fully dark when I left. No flash light.
Starlight lit the trail as I skirted the meadow
Pitch dark in the trees.
Had a general idea of the route
And thought I was keeping to the trail, but soon found myself amongst the trees, lost.
It was some time before I saw someone else walking along the trail with a light, and was able to follow them to my campsite.

For many years the hymn “lead kindly light’ has been my favorite, and this event gave me an even greater understanding of the words. It is often considered a funeral hymn because of the last verse. But to me, it is a hymn about repentance and the Saviors love. Let me share it with you.

Lead kindly light amidst the encircling gloom, lead thou me on,
The night is dark and I am far from home, lead thou me on.
Keep thou my feet, I do not need to see the distant scene,
One step enough for me.

I was not ever thus, nor prayed that thou shouldst lead me on,
I loved to see, and choose my path, but now, lead thou me on.
I loved the garish day, and spite of fears, pride ruled my will
Remember not past years.

If you have been skipping stones on the river of filthiness, you may now feel that you are in the dark night, and that you are far from home, and that there is no hope of finding a kindly light to lead you back.


But there is hope through the atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ.


When primary children are preparing for baptism, they learn this song:

I like to look for rainbow whenever there is rain,
And ponder on the beauty of an earth made clean again,
I want my life to be as clean as earth right after rain,
I want to be the best I can and live with God again.

I know when I am baptized my sins are washed away,
And I can be forgiven and improve myself each day.
I want my life to be as clean as earth right after rain,
I want to be the best I can and live with God again.

You can be as clean as earth right after rain, and look forward to living with God again.

In his conference address Elder Christofferson gave two examples of people having a mighty change of heart. He spoke of the people of King Benjamin who had ‘no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually. King Benjamin told them that the people had become the children of Christ, spiritually begotten, because their hearts were changed through faith on His name.

He also told of Alma the younger who, after being racked with the torment of his sins for three days and nights, publicly confessed:
“I have repented of my sins, and have been redeemed of the Lord; behold I am born of the Spirit.
“And the Lord said unto me: Marvel not that all mankind, yea, men and women, all nations, kindreds, tongues and people, must be born again; yea, born of God, changed from their carnal and fallen state, to a state of righteousness, being redeemed of God, becoming his sons and daughters;
“And thus they become new creatures” (Mosiah 27:24–26).
He continued in his address:
As we reflect on these examples and other scriptures, it becomes clear that spiritual rebirth originates with faith in Jesus Christ, by whose grace we are changed. More specifically, it is faith in Christ as the Atoning One, the Redeemer, who can cleanse from sin and make holy (see Mosiah 4:2–3).

He then shared a question that I have asked myself … ‘Why doesn’t this mighty change happen more quickly with me?’ Then he answers, ‘You should remember that the remarkable examples of King Benjamin’s people, Alma, and some others in scripture are just that—remarkable and not typical.2 For most of us, the changes are more gradual and occur over time. Being born again, unlike our physical birth, is more a process than an event. And engaging in that process is the central purpose of mortality.’
What must a person do to continue on this process of being born again? I think that I can safely say what Pres. Wasden has said, “Pray and read the scriptures daily.” There are many activities in the restored gospel that will strengthen our testimonies, such as family history work, compassionate service, and singing in the choir. (Did I mention singing in the choir?) However, trying to do these activities without daily strengthening of testimony by prayer and scripture reading can often lead to frustration and discouragement.’


I would like to share a poem that has always given me hope, when I have felt discouraged.
The Race
"Quit, give up, you're beaten!"
They shout at me and plead.
"There's just too much against you now.
This time you can't succeed."
And as I start to hang my head
In front of failure's face,
My downward fall is broken by
The memory of a race.
And hope refills my weakened will
As I recall that scene,
For just the thought of that short race
Rejuvenates my being.
A child's race, young boys, young men
How I remember well,
Excitement sure! But also fear.
It wasn't hard to tell.
They all lined up so full of hope
Each thought to win the race,
Or tie for 1st or if not that
At least take 2nd place.
And fathers watched from off the sides
Each cheering for his son,
And each boy hoped to show his Dad
That he would be the one.
The whistle blew and off they went
Young hearts and hopes afire
To win to be the hero there
Was each young boys desire.
And one boy in particular
Whose Dad was in the crowd
Was running near the lead and thought,
"My Dad will be so proud!"
But as he speeded down the field
Across a shallow dip,
The little boy who thought to win
Lost his step and slipped.
Trying hard to catch himself
His hands flew out to brace
And mid the laughter of the crowd
He fell flat on his face.
So down he fell and with him hope
He couldn't win it now...
Embarrassed, sad he only wished
To disappear somehow.
But as he fell his Dad stood up
And showed his anxious face
Which to the boy so clearly said:
"Get up and win the race!"
He quickly rose, no damage done,
Behind a bit, that's all
And ran with all his mind and might
To make up for his fall.
So anxious to restore himself
To catch up and to win.
His mind went faster than his legs
He slipped and fell again.
He wished that he had quit before
With only one disgrace,
"I'm hopeless as a runner now.
I shouldn't try to race."
But in the laughing crowd he searched
And found his Father's face,
That steady look that said again,
"Get up and win the race!"
So up he jumped to try again
Ten yards behind the last,
"If I'm going to gain those yards," he thought
"I've got to move real fast!"
Exerting everything he had
He regained eight or ten,
But trying so hard to catch the lead
He slipped and fell again!
Defeat! He lay there silently
A tear dropped from his eye.
"There's no sense running anymore
Three strikes; I'm out; why try!"
The will to rise had disappeared
All hope had fled away;
So far behind, so error-prone:
A loser all the way.
"I've lost so what's the use?" He thought
"I'll live with my disgrace."
But then he thought about his Dad
Who soon he'd have to face.
"Get up" an echo sounded low
"Get up and take your place,
You were not meant for failure here,
Get up and win the race!"
"With borrowed will, Get up" It said,
"You haven't lost at all,
For winning is no more than this
To rise each time you fall."
So up he rose to run once more
And with a new commit,
He resolved that win or lose
At least he wouldn't quit.
So far behind the others now
The most he'd ever been,
Still he gave it all he had
And ran as though to win.
Three times he'd fallen stumbling
Three times he rose again,
Too far behind to hope to win
He still ran to the end.
They cheered the winning runner
As he crossed the line 1st place,
Head high, and proud and happy
No falling, no disgrace.
But when the fallen youngster
Crossed the line last place,
The crowd gave him the greater cheer
For finishing the race.
And even though he came in last
With head bowed low, unproud,
You would have thought he'd won the race
To listen to the crowd.
And to his Dad he sadly said,
"I didn't do so well,"
"To me you won!" his Father said
"You rose each time you fell."
And now when things seem dark and hard
And difficult to face,
The memory of that little boy
Helps me in my race.
For all of life is like that race
With ups and downs and all,
And all you have to do to win
Is rise each time you fall.
"Quit, Give up, You're beaten."
They still shout in my face,
But another voice within me says,
"Get up and win the race."
by Dee Groberg
Brothers and sister, have you ever felt like this little boy? Do you feel like even your best efforts to get to the iron rod leave you laying flat on your face? Is there something that you’re carrying that is slowing you down, or is tripping you up, something that is keeping you from taking upon you the name of Christ, and becoming a new being in Him. If you find your prayers falling flat on the floor, or locked in your head, and the scriptures are as a book that is sealed, have a visit with the Bishop. I know he’s scary, I’ve played basket ball against him. But I have also seen the love in his eyes when he speaks with his children. And I know that anyone who loves his children as he does will love and be kind to all of our Heavenly Fathers children. He is the Lords representative in this area to help us clear up areas of our lives that might be preventing us from having the Spirit, from being born again and following the Savior.
It is my testimony that our Heaveny Father is watching us in our race. He is anxious for our success, and He sent His Son, Jesus Christ to pay for our sins, so that to win our mortal race, we only need to get up each time we fall, and keep running with all our might.
Born Again
Elder D. Todd Christofferson
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles
Spiritual rebirth originates with faith in Jesus Christ, by whose grace we are changed.
Fifteen years ago I stood for the first time at the pulpit in the Tabernacle as a newly sustained Seventy. I was 48 years old. I had thick, dark brown hair. I thought I understood what it meant to feel inadequate. At the end of my five-minute remarks, my shirt was dripping with perspiration. The whole thing was something of an ordeal. However, today, in retrospect, it seems a comparatively pleasant experience.
When President Dieter F. Uchtdorf and Elder David A. Bednar were first sustained as members of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, a witness of the divine origin of their calls came to me during the session. I was also given in that moment an understanding of the surpassing sacredness of the call and service of an Apostle of the Lord Jesus Christ. I do not have the words to express that understanding because it was communicated Spirit to spirit without words. To think of it now reduces me to a depth of humility I have never before experienced, and I plead with my Heavenly Father to sustain me as He ever has that I might measure up to something that is far beyond my native capacity and be able to focus outwardly, losing myself in your service. I trust in Him, and I know that His grace is sufficient, and so I here unreservedly commit all that I have and am to God and His Beloved Son. I also commit myself, my loyalty, my service, and my love to the First Presidency and to my Brethren of the Twelve.
My patriarchal blessing, received at age 13 from a beloved grandfather, includes this statement: “[Your Heavenly Father] sent you forth in this last and glorious dispensation that you might be born under the new and everlasting covenant by goodly, righteous parents.” With deepest appreciation I acknowledge that this has been the great foundational blessing of my life. I pay tribute to my parents and with love acknowledge my debt to them and to their parents and generations beyond. Not long after my call to the Seventy, I had occasion to be standing at the grave of one of those ancestors who had died years before I was born. As I contemplated the sacrifices entailed upon him and his family by their acceptance of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ, a sense of gratitude flooded my heart and a resolve welled up in me to honor his sacrifice and that of those who came after by being faithful to God and the gospel covenants, as they were.
In acknowledging blessings, I include my dear brothers and their spouses who, as it happens, are present today. My wife and I have four sons and a daughter, each married to a wonderful spouse or, in the case of our youngest son, soon to be married to a lovely young woman. We love them and our grandchildren and appreciate how they bless our lives by their loyalty to the Savior and His gospel. At the pinnacle is my wife, Kathy, the maker of our home, the light of my life, a steady and wise companion, filled with spiritual intuition, good humor, goodwill, and charity. I love her beyond expression and hope to show it more convincingly in the days and years ahead.
It was my blessing to serve a full-time mission as a young man in Argentina under the tutelage of two exceptional mission presidents, Ronald V. Stone and Richard G. Scott, and their respective wives, Patricia and Jeanene. I thank God for their lasting influence in me. Following my graduation from law school, Kathy and I and our children made our homes successively in the states of Maryland, Tennessee, Virginia, North Carolina, and now Utah. Three precious years were spent in Mexico. In all of these places, we have been blessed with dear friends in and out of the Church who have loved and taught and befriended us and our children and who continue to do so. I take this opportunity to publicly express gratitude to all of them.
My love and regard for my Brethren of the Seventy and the Presiding Bishopric is boundless. I rejoice that my continuing service will keep me close to them and that there will be frequent opportunities to serve together. The unfolding revelations of our time that have set the Seventy in place in the Church constitute one of the most profound and perhaps underappreciated miracles in the history of the Lord’s latter-day work. The Seventy are key to the success of the work now and in the years ahead, and I feel honored beyond measure that my name was ever included among theirs. God bless you, my Brethren.
I wish to bear you my witness of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and the power of His infinite, atoning sacrifice. In doing so, I will call upon an experience from my years in Tennessee. One evening there I received a call at home from a gentleman I did not know. He introduced himself as a recently retired minister of another faith and asked to meet with me privately the following Sunday. When we met, my guest stated frankly he had come out of concern for the welfare of my soul. He pulled out of his portfolio a fairly long list of scripture citations from the New Testament and said he wanted to review these verses with me and see if he could help me be saved. I was a bit surprised at his directness, but I could tell that he was sincere, and I was touched by his genuine interest in me.
We conversed for more than an hour, and he was open to hear me explain something of my faith as well as to read with me some teachings from the Book of Mormon with which he was not familiar. We found there was much we believed in common and some things we did not. We felt a bond of friendship and prayed together before he left. What remains with me is our discussion about being born again. It is spiritual rebirth through Jesus Christ that is the context of my witness of Him.
It was Jesus who stated that entry into the kingdom of God requires that one be born again—born of water and of the Spirit (see John 3:3–5). His teaching about a physical and a spiritual baptism helps us understand that both our own action and the intervention of divine power are needed for this transformative rebirth—for the change from natural man to saint (see Mosiah 3:19). Paul described being born again with this simple expression: “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature” (2 Corinthians 5:17).
Consider two examples from the Book of Mormon. About a century before the birth of Christ, King Benjamin taught his people of the Savior’s advent and Atonement. The Spirit of the Lord wrought such a mighty change in the people that they had “no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually” (Mosiah 5:2). Because of their faith in Christ, they said, “We are willing to enter into a covenant with our God to do his will, and to be obedient to his commandments . . . all the remainder of our days” (Mosiah 5:5; emphasis added). The king responded, “Because of the covenant which ye have made ye shall be called the children of Christ, his sons, and his daughters; for behold, this day he hath spiritually begotten you; for ye say that your hearts are changed through faith on his name” (Mosiah 5:7; see also D&C 76:24).
The case of Alma is also instructive. As he and his companions went about seeking to destroy the Church of Christ, they were rebuked by an angel. There followed for Alma three days and nights that he described as being “racked with eternal torment. . . . Yea, I did remember all my sins and iniquities, for which I was tormented with the pains of hell” (Alma 36:12–13). Finally, after “repenting nigh unto death” (Mosiah 27:28), as he put it, there came to his mind the sweet message of Jesus Christ and His Atonement. Alma pled, “O Jesus, thou Son of God, have mercy on me, who am in the gall of bitterness, and am encircled about by the everlasting chains of death” (Alma 36:18). Forgiveness came to him, and he stood and publicly confessed:
“I have repented of my sins, and have been redeemed of the Lord; behold I am born of the Spirit.
“And the Lord said unto me: Marvel not that all mankind, yea, men and women, all nations, kindreds, tongues and people, must be born again; yea, born of God, changed from their carnal and fallen state, to a state of righteousness, being redeemed of God, becoming his sons and daughters;
“And thus they become new creatures” (Mosiah 27:24–26).
As we reflect on these examples and other scriptures, it becomes clear that spiritual rebirth originates with faith in Jesus Christ, by whose grace we are changed. More specifically, it is faith in Christ as the Atoning One, the Redeemer, who can cleanse from sin and make holy (see Mosiah 4:2–3).
When this true faith takes root in a person, it inevitably leads to repentance. Amulek taught that the Savior’s sacrifice would “bring salvation to all those who shall believe on his name; this being the intent of this last sacrifice, to bring about the bowels of mercy, which overpowereth justice, and bringeth about means unto men that they may have faith unto repentance” (Alma 34:15; emphasis added).
To be complete, however, repentance requires a covenant of obedience. This is the covenant expressed by Benjamin’s people “to do [God’s] will, and to be obedient to his commandments” (Mosiah 5:5). This is the covenant witnessed by baptism in water (see Mosiah 18:10) sometimes referred to in the scriptures as the “baptism of repentance” or “baptism unto repentance,” inasmuch as it is the culminating step, the capstone of our repentance (see, for example, Acts 19:4; Alma 7:14; 9:27; D&C 107:20).
Then, as promised, the Lord baptizes us “with fire and with the Holy Ghost” (3 Nephi 9:20). Nephi phrased it this way: “For the gate by which ye should enter is repentance and baptism by water; and then cometh a remission of your sins by fire and by the Holy Ghost” (2 Nephi 31:17).1 Having thus relied “upon the merits of him who is mighty to save” (2 Nephi 31:19), we are “quickened in the inner man” (Moses 6:65) and, if not yet fully born again, then certainly well into the path of spiritual rebirth.
Now the Lord cautions us to take heed since “there is a possibility that man may fall from grace” (D&C 20:32), even those who are sanctified (see vv. 32–34). As Nephi counseled: “Ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life” (2 Nephi 31:20).
You may ask, Why doesn’t this mighty change happen more quickly with me? You should remember that the remarkable examples of King Benjamin’s people, Alma, and some others in scripture are just that—remarkable and not typical.2 For most of us, the changes are more gradual and occur over time. Being born again, unlike our physical birth, is more a process than an event. And engaging in that process is the central purpose of mortality.
At the same time, let us not justify ourselves in a casual effort. Let us not be content to retain some disposition to do evil. Let us worthily partake of the sacrament each week and continue to draw upon the Holy Spirit to root out the last vestiges of impurity within us. I testify that as you continue in the path of spiritual rebirth, the atoning grace of Jesus Christ will take away your sins and the stain of those sins in you, temptations will lose their appeal, and through Christ you will become holy, as He and our Father are holy.
I know Jesus Christ as the living, resurrected Son of God.
“[I] know that justification through the grace of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is just and true;
“And [I] know also, that sanctification through the grace of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is just and true, to all those who love and serve God with all their mights, minds, and strength” (D&C 20:30–31; see also Moroni 10:32–33).
I rejoice that for the balance of my life I shall be able continually to offer Christ, to offer the good news of Christ in all the world. I bear witness of the reality and love of God, our Heavenly Father, to whom Jesus gave all glory. I love and bear witness of the Prophet Joseph Smith. Through his personal association with the Lord, his translation and publication of the Book of Mormon, and the sealing of his testimony with his martyr’s blood, Joseph has become the preeminent revelator of Jesus Christ in His true character as divine Redeemer. Jesus has had no greater witness nor more devoted friend than Joseph Smith. I declare my testimony of the calling of President Thomas S. Monson as prophet and President of the Church of Jesus Christ in this time and pledge my loyalty to him and his counselors in their sacred roles. I pray God’s blessings upon us all. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

NOTES
1. God taught these things to Adam at the very beginning. He told Adam: “Inasmuch as ye were born into the world by water, and blood, and the spirit, which I have made, and so became of dust a living soul, even so ye must be born again into the kingdom of heaven, of water, and of the Spirit, and be cleansed by blood, even the blood of mine Only Begotten; that ye might be sanctified from all sin . . . ; for by the water ye keep the commandment; by the Spirit ye are justified, and by the blood ye are sanctified” (Moses 6:59–60). In other words, the baptism of repentance by water leads to the baptism of the Spirit. The Spirit brings the atoning grace of Christ, symbolized by His blood, both to justify (or pardon) our sins and to sanctify (or cleanse) us from the effects of sin, making us spotless and holy before God.
The scriptural record reports that “Adam cried unto the Lord, and he was caught away by the Spirit of the Lord, and was carried down into the water, and was laid under the water, and was brought forth out of the water. And thus he was baptized, and the Spirit of God descended upon him, and thus he was born of the Spirit, and became quickened in the inner man. And he heard a voice out of heaven, saying: Thou art baptized with fire, and with the Holy Ghost. . . . Behold, thou art one in me, a son of God; and thus may all become my sons [and daughters]” (Moses 6:64–66, 68).
2. See Ezra Taft Benson, “A Mighty Change of Heart,” Tambuli, Mar. 1990, 2–7; Ensign, Oct. 1989, 2–5.

Ward choir performance 080720

We sang Come, come ye saints, in honor of the pending pioneer day. I was inspired by how the Mormon Tabernacle Choir is singing it. They sing it v1. women, very quietly. v2 men, a little louder. v3 All parts, and louder. v4 All parts, Loud and building. Each verse modulate in key and adds to the dynamics and mood. Typically, in church we start the 4th verse very quietly, as if remebering those that have past on, and then build.

We sang it similar to what "the Choir" did. We used the simplified hymn book for hte first two verses, and sang unison, women on v1 and men on v2, also building from pianissimo. I addapted a short 5 measure transition from that hymn book (with one flat) to the current hymnn book (one sharp), which took the note up a half step.
The forth verse we used the old blue hymn book, (four flats - another half step up.) This gave our performance a similar modulation, but not requireing the skill of a concert pianist. We increased volumne with each succesive verse and then began the forth verse very quietly, as expected. After singing, "And should be die," with a fermata (birds eye - hold) the piano played a trasitional chord changing us from the current hymn book, to the old (the half step up) and we started over loud, and built to the end. (With a lot of holds, ritards, and other direction).

I felt that it went well. Running from Sacrament meeting to play the piano if primary, I don't get a lot of feed back from the congregation. No choir practice for a month. I know that we will lose any momentum that we gained from this last piece, but we will be starting Christmas music, and that always brings the people out to sing. I have found some intersting pieces, that will probably catch some of hte member off guard, but it's differences, like dynamics, that move people.

Desi's Dinasaurs Walk now for autism

We have a team.

Desi's Dinasaurs.

We're walking on October 18, 2008. If you would like to join our team, or just make a contribution, go to the link above.

Thanks

Follow up to last post

The recent uproar about the Savage Nation has helped me reflect on my last few weeks. I mentioned that the week preceding July 13th was bad...

After the backup baby sitter backed out after the first day, I altered my schedule to spend my afternoons with Des.

I took him with me one afternoon, with high temps around 110 degrees, to the locksmith to see what it would cost to get a lock on the front door, that we could lock with a key from the inside. Des has gotten so good at dragging and piling up furniture at the front door to get to and open the latches that we have added. I decided that the only way to keep him from getting out of the house was to add a key lock inside, and everyone needs to keep their key in their pockets.

At the locksmith there was a candy dispenser. It was late in the afternoon, about the time Des will melt down if he hasn't had any solid sensory input. He did melt down, falling on the floor and screaming. I was tring to find out what I needed to know, and waited patiently behind a man, who I assumed would be understanding. As he turned to leave, he said, "I think someone needs a spanking." I said, feeling somewhat lame, "He has autism, that wouldn't do any good."

Since that event I believe that I have become paranoid. I will still take him with me when I go to stores, I don't see how I can improve his behavior in that environment if I don't take him into it. But it is set up to be difficult; long slow lines, shopping carts that he is too big for now, candy at the checkout counters, and of course, lots of intollerant people.

A really tough week

This last week has been one of the most difficult in recent memory.

Some componants:

Lisa on vacation.

Back up baby sitter for Des lasted one day.

Days got as hot as 109 Degrees.

No air conditioning in my car.

Hopeline, Postsecret, and Cassie

Help Save 1-800-SUICIDE


NOTE: Originally, I had the video for this post embedded in this post, but I was afraid that as I posted more, it would dissappear and be lost below. (There should be a "Blogspot for dummies" link. It has taken be a total of 5 hours to figure out how to put that Youtube video at the top of my page......)

To make a donation to this vital cause, go to the following website:
http://www.hopeline.com/

I started following postsecret more than a year ago. BE WARNED: There is much there that is mature content. I believe that a lot of what is posted there is fiction. Some is intended to startle. (Frank, the moderator, says that the sight is 'art' and as such, it is all true.....art equals truth, etc.) But mixed in is a portion that is extremely moving. It is that 25% that keeps me coming back.

When I first started following the blog, I found at the bottom of the page, the post by Cassie. She tells of her hours long talk with the suicide hot line, who's number she got from inside of her post secret book.

Bi polar depresion is probably the most leathal of the mental illnesses. Each week I would rush to the bottom of the page to see that Cassies post was still there. Suddenly, several months ago, her picture and story dissapeared. I couldn't find a thread on any forums or blogs telling the reason why she was absent from the website. Only a cryptic comment from Frank saying, "I miss her, too." Or words to that effect.

Today, following the video from the Hope Line, the picture and story of Cassie had returned. And of course, I was in tears. I will try to put her picture and story below.

http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

Well, I couldn't figure out how to do it, so I just posted a link instead.

Chior Practice 080629

I'm not complaining, really. We had 2 men and 4 women come to practice today. The practice was announced to be 45 min long.

Summer? Maybe. I would like to sing Come, Come Ye Saints, in three weeks. I heard the Mormon Tab Choir sing a version that was really moving. Rather than drop down quietly on the beginning of the 4th verse, they sing it out. They have beautiful modulations and descants. Not something our choir could do. But.....

I got the three copies of the Hymns that I have. The simplified, The current (green) hymns, and the previous version (blue). I found that they are all written in different keys and modulate up a half note with each version. So taht is what I am doing. Verses 1 and 2 are from the simplified, 3 is from the current, and 4 is from the old Hymns.

We will start the 4th verse (just the first measure) really quiet, like everyone will expect, using hte current book, then we will modulate up to the old hymn book, and really bring it out.

I think it could be very moving. Hopefully the congregation will feel the spirit of what I am trying to bring out.

It would be nicer if we had more people come to choir.

I have a lot of ideas for Christmas and other music that would be wonderful to do, but we need voices to do that ....... I guess I need to try praying with fait.....something that has always been difficult for me.

Autism, sleep deprivation, and oxytocin.

Our bodies give off oxytocin when we have reassuring or intimate physical contact. An increase of oxytocin in the body causes us to increase in trust and attachment to those with whom we are in contact when the oxytocin is present. At child birth the mothers body produces a ton of it, (So that they still want their baby after this horrifically painful event.)

My son had autism and I often have to get up during the night and sit with him until he goes back to sleep. If not he wanders the house looking for trouble. I am very attached to my son, and he to me. While dozing off he runs his fingers through my hair. I wonder if these midnight caresses generate oxytocin that increases our bond and affection for each other.

I have also noticed at times that I am especially sleep deprived that I am much more emotional. Especially when thinking about my children, or hearing stories or songs of love an attachment.

I wonder if oxytocin is more abundant in those who have long term sleep deprivation as a componant to bond us to our little ones.

The only studies that I have found are of short term sleep deprivation and not the long term kind that new mothers with nursing babies, or dads with autistic boys, experience. In these studies there was no remarkable difference in serum oxytocin.

Future thought: oxytocin vrs. cortasol.

Ward Choir

The last song we sang in church was on fathers day. We sang Father do you love me? We had half a dozen of the children of choir members sing the childrens part.

I wanted to perform this peice after I heard it on a Bret Raymond CD. Every time I listen to it I lose composure. I was afraid that if we did sing it with the ward choir taht I would also lose composure. During practice I did well, and thought that it would be no problem.

I made it until the final chorus where we sing together, "I need your love, I need your light, to show me how to be like Jesus..." I was unable to sing again until the very end

I didn't hear any feed back from any from the congregation. No wait. Jeff Walters told me that he could really hear Bekah and she sang well.