Sunday and autism

I guess it's kind of comforting knowing that noone actually reads my blog. In truth, one person did read it and invited me to join in an international multilevel marketing adventure, sigh. So really, I can say what I want in total anonymity, even misspell anonmymity, and not feel like I am risking myself to unwanted public exposure.

Today in sacrament meeting I was filling in for the regular choruster. I had asked my adult daughter to keep an eye on my son Desmond, who has autism. Des and I have a regular church meeting routine. We get to church about 10 minute early so that we can climb up and down the stairs a few times. This is one of his all time favorite activities. Then we are able to sit and quietly read some of his books to get us through the regular announcements and business, the passing of the sacrament and sometimes even the first talk. Then it's back to the stairs for 20 minutes or so before we come back into sacrament meeting for the end of hte final talk, closing hymn and closing prayer.

I had lead the opening hymn, sacrament hymn and was leading the closing hymn, thinking that everything was running smoothly. My family hadn't come into the meeting, and since Jan, my wife, had recently had a back surgery, I assumed that they we all sitting in hte comfortable chairs in the foyer.

We were in the final few measures of the closing hymn when Desi came running into the chapel. I thought, well, that's ok, I can beat the last few beats with him here, but instead of running to me, he ran to help the organist finnish the piece.

Everyone tells me that it is ok, that it was cute, that it was....etc, but I still haven't gotten over it. I feel embarassed and frustrated everytime I think of it. I guess mostly I feel like my family let me down, that they couldn't keep track of him for one meeting.

But, like everything else, I am sure that this will pass.